Original post here
Hey guys, happy Friday! I thought I would switch up this next installment of Ask Me Anything and make it focused on us as a couple. I receive a lot of questions about Trevor (he’s very elusive on social media, i.e not interested ha!) and our relationship on Instagram so I figured this would be a great way to answer them all in one place.
What is the best couples advice you have for new parents?
Hmm, that’s a tough one. I know you hear lots of cliché answers to this but I actually think the best advice we got was when we were going through all of our infertility struggles and IVF journey from my brother and sister in law. They reminded us not to let these tough times tear us apart but instead to make sure it brought us together. It may sound easy but when you are under a lot of stress, working, not sleeping and have an infant things can get cranky. It was so crucial that we didn’t turn on each other (although we’ve had our fair share of that) and really focus on what we can do together to make it better. I think the same goes for new parents—be a team! Trevor is the best father I could ever ask for and he honestly makes it easy for me. I’ve never had to get behind him and that makes me want to try to be a better mom and wife. Don’t keep tally’s on each other (so easy to do as parents) and just try to make every situation the best you can!
How did you know Trevor was ‘the one’?
Ahhh, such a good question. I shared the story of how we met earlier this year on the blog and that will give you a little insight into how we started dating. Soon after, I knew he was the one. It may sound cheesy but it was really just him. I had never felt more comfortable, confident and happy in my life and despite people thinking I was crazy I knew after a few weeks. I’m not sure I believe everything happens that way but Trevor and I had been friends for years before we started dating and I can honestly say I’ve never once doubted that he was my best friend and the person I’m meant to be with. If I have any advice about that it’s wait for that one—I am so thankful I waited till it was right.
How do you not kill each other during the first year of parenthood?
Well, that’s tough. Maybe first recognize that you will want to kill each other, punch a wall and scream. I think knowing that going in will make it easier and make sure to surround yourself with an amazing group of people. We could have never gotten this far without my mother who has lived with us, stayed here when we needed her and walked us through much of our journey as parents. My dad, brother and sister in law, Trevor’s parents and his siblings have always been amazing resources and sounding boards for us. My brother has three kids so has been through it and both Trevor’s brothers has their first child within weeks of us having Zain so it’s been great to chat real time with them about what we’re going through and not feel alone. Also, like I mentioned earlier—don’t keep score! It doesn’t matter what the other person is doing (as long as they are helping) so just do what you can to get through those tough times because there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Who does most of the planning for date nights and social activities? I find most women do this but find it exhausting!
I do! I’m not just saying that because I’m writing this ha. Trevor’s strength is not necessarily communication or planning. I usually make the plans but I will also admit that I am picky so I think it’s easier for me to plan nights with friends or movie date’s for us because I usually know our schedule better than him. If I do want him to plan something, I will usually give him a day and idea of what I want to do but if you aren’t a control freak like me I would ask your significant other to plan things half the time!
Thanks for sending in so many awesome questions and I will be sure to do this again! Happy Friday and I hope you guys enjoy the weekend!