Hey guys! Today’s post is the next installment of our motherhood series and a topic I love to talk about. Not because it’s so fun or really anything new but more so because I think people talk about it less than they should and it’s so refreshing to read all my other mom friend’s perspective and hear from all of you!
I touched on this topic a little bit when I wrote this 100 days of darkness post but motherhood can sometimes be a little lonely and isolating, especially in the beginning. You are exhausted, sleep deprived and it’s this weird state where you want to be around other people and simultaneously dread having to see anyone. Or at least that’s how it was for me!
After Trevor went back to work it was mostly survival mode! Hours would pass and I would wonder what I had done with all that time but still somehow the end of the day seemed so far away. I think that cycle wears on you a little bit and with Zain it was hard to visualize that light at the end of the tunnel since we essentially had no idea what we were doing and had never been parents before. I already talk to Trevor about how different those early days would be if we had another.
My mom told me over and over again to soak up that early time with Zain because it would fly by and I’m not sure I listened enough. I stressed a lot and wished for him to get older and do the next thing. Looking back, I wish I had relaxed a bit more and I think with a second child you know going in that the exhaustion and sleepless nights are fleeting and that makes it easier for you to relish in the moment.
It was nice to have my mom around so often in the beginning. Just to be around other people felt amazing! I was also really lucky to give birth during the summer months. Getting out of the house to go for a walk or grab food was easy and refreshing. Even stepping out on the patio was magical on some days. I’m lucky that I didn’t necessarily feel too isolated but I can’t imagine what it would be like in the winter here!
Even now, motherhood can be a little lonely. Zain and I are in a steady routine but meeting up with mom friends can prove to be tricky. Every baby is a different age and on a different nap schedule and we all know days never go as planned so scheduling dates are more difficult than I thought they would be. I think when it warms up here, things may be a bit easier but I wish I saw my mom friends more!
I’ve talked about how working from home can be a challenge and isolating in of itself before and when you add a baby in the mix it’s even harder to get out. A couple things have really helped me and I figured I would share them in case any of you are in the same boat!
- Joining the gym has been amazing—it get’s me out of the house, allows Zain time to play with other kids in a new environment and allows me to burn off some steam and even get some work done.
- Scheduling play dates at least once a week! Any more than that has proven to become more of a stress than relief but I think it’s so nice to get out and grab lunch with a friend and let the kids do their own thing.
- Take some time away on the weekends! In the beginning I wanted to soak up every minute of the weekends with Trevor and Zain. It was our time together as a family and although I still love that, I do try to sneak away for a little me time every weekend just to refresh and have some alone time.
Were you all lonely after you had a baby and how do you deal with it now?