Do You Say Yes Too Often?

Hi, my name is Shaheen and I love saying ‘yes’

Is it just me or is it so much harder to say no than it is to say yes? I am not sure I fully realized I had this problem till I started this blogging venture and found myself spread way too thin. Now, it’s clear that I probably do this far too often which I’m sure most people can relate to. Whether it’s social plans, business plans or collaborations it seems like it’s always a disappointment to say no to something.

 

5 ways stop saying yes

 

I realized I needed to draw a hard line in the sand when it comes to life and business because there just isn’t enough time in the day and I found myself consumed by activities that were more for the benefit of others rather than myself. Lately, I feel like I have talked to so many friends (both women & men) that feel the exact same way. I decided to make a conscious effort about 6 months ago to fix the problem not only for my own benefit but also so I was able to keep the commitments I did make to friends and business partners. I thought I would share a few ways I have stopped making my life harder than it needs to be & would love to hear what you guys think about it.

 

Saying No Doesn’t Make You A Bad Person: I think this was my first issue. I would feel bad saying no to things when in all reality most people don’t mind. If your head is elsewhere no one is going to enjoy being around you anyhow. When events or meetings in your calendar start to cause you more stress than good you know it’s time to make an adjustment. I would find myself being at meetings thinking about all of the work I could have been doing at home and never be able to focus.

 

 

Is It Worth Your Time: More so when it comes to business than personal but at some point you have to decide if this event or meeting will really be beneficial to your brand or company. If no, then decide if you really have time to socialize. Although networking is a great tool I reserve this for times when I have my to do list done and am ahead on my work (sooo, almost never)

 

Set A Time Limit: Only allow yourself a set amount of time per week for networking, meetings and events if you like them. With a set time you will feel more in control and and less guilt when heading out after work or on a lunch break.

 

 

Don’t Give Excuses: I would find myself saying no and giving a full paragraph excuse to justify my feelings. You don’t need to do that. Just let them know you aren’t available and wish them all the best with their collaboration/event/cocktail hour. Trust me, they care far less than you are worried about.

 

Relax: Chill! My biggest hurdle but slowly becoming a reality in my world. In almost all cases you are worrying way more about the situation then anyone else involved. Feel confident in your answer and move on!

 

What do you guys do to make saying no a little easier? Anyone find themselves in the same boat?

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8 thoughts on “Do You Say Yes Too Often?

  1. Kit Graham

    AMEN! For the longest time I listened to Tina Fey’s approach of “say yes and figure it out later” but lately I have been going to fewer events and focusing more on work and spending time with Charles. It’s such a nice change of pace.

    Reply
  2. Harleen Bola

    Yes! Definitely in this boat and every point you made is such a great tool for setting those limits! One thing that has helped me is to remind myself that the reaction I am anticipating from others is a projection of my own anxiety and most likely isn’t the reality. That helps me stop the wheel of overanalyzing.

    – Harleen
    http://myeunoia.com

    Reply
  3. Erin Bassett

    I needed this! I just came to a milestone “no” moment and while I cried through most of the process I felt a sense of relief. My biggest thing is that when I say yes and can’t follow through (because I’m spread too thin) I have this overwhelming sense of guilt that just lingers. I’m going to be practicing my “no” so I can stop the guilt spiral. I have a feeling I’ll be hearing a lot of “no” in my future anyways as Little b decides to start telling me what he really thinks ;]

    Reply

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