Original post here
Good morning friends and Happy New Year!
I fully intended on taking a break from the blog till Monday but decided I really wanted to sit down and chat intentions with myself and you all. I am not really one to make resolutions but I do like to start each year with goals in mind and reflect a little on what I was happy and disappointed in during the previous year.
Writing things down is really important for me. I still use a pencil and planner everyday and journaling (although I don’t do it as often as I should) is really great for relieving my stress and anxiety.
Before we dive into this new year and it’s goals, how did everyone feel about this past year?
Honestly, it was a vast improvement over the previous for me. The first year of motherhood was lovely and magical but also extremely hard. I had no help or family close by (thank goodness for my mom just 5 hours away) and staying home with a baby was an unexpected surprise for me and one I struggled with.
This past year has included a lot of change, but all good! People often ask me if I’m sad I left Chicago and when I go back do I miss it. I can confidently say I miss the people terribly but not the city. I’m not sure if it was the weather, how difficult it became to get around with a baby or the overall life I was leading there but I wouldn’t trade anything for where we are now.
Being back in Louisville has been magical. We were able to purchase our first home, both our parent’s are close by (seeing them with Zain brings me so much joy) and life is just more relaxed. We’ve slowly started getting the house together, Zain loves his school, and I love being back at work part time. It feels like we have finally found our groove as a family and I am so thankful for that.
For most of our marriage we have always had a sense of unsettledness (we never knew where work would take us) and that has slowly dissipated this past year. So, if any of you are in that same boat know how much can change in a year. This move wasn’t planned and we had already put an offer in on a house in Chicago. Life can change so quickly and I learned a great lesson in patience.
As far as this next year, I have several goals: some personal and some for this blog. If I’m being truthful, this blog has been an internal struggle for me since I started doing it full time after Zain was born. I love sharing our life and connecting with all you but as fun and easy as it looks, it takes so much time and energy. There is no turning it off so I am constantly answering emails, taking on last minute projects and extending myself too far. Part of that is my inability to balance things well but I found myself resentful of everything and everyone. Was I helping anyone? Was I connecting with people? Was this fulfilling?
Since going back to work it’s been easier to find a balance (I’m now not relying on it for my entire paycheck which is helpful) and have also found set times to make work a priority. With Zain in school 3 days a week and my mom close by I am now far less stressed about getting projects done and deadlines. I also cut back how many days I post to 3 and it seems to be the right fit for everyone.
Outside of those times, I focus on my family and other things that bring me joy and happiness. I have also slowly let go of tying my self worth to this space and social media. As much as ‘influencers’ or ‘bloggers’ or whatever you would like to call them may want to let go of how many likes, followers, etc they have—you can’t. Your paycheck depends on it and your performance is important. If you don’t deliver on your promises to a brand will they want to work with you again? do you look bad? I mean no one wants a poor review at their job.
Slowly but surely I’ve left go of that feeling and also focused more on what’s happening here on my blog. I love Instagram because it’s a great way to connect with you all on a personal level but I can’t control it and this blog will always be my number one priority. My hope for the new year is that it’s even more helpful and intentional.
I want to incorporate more than style since my life is so much more than that. I have some big fitness goals for this new year, am determined to find the right skin care and want to finally finish our living and dining rooms. I hope that you all are interested in similar things and want to come along for the ride! I’ll be opening up more about each of those goals this month and sharing some embarrassing ‘before’ pictures only because seeing others do the same is what has inspired me.
Sorry this was such a long one but thank you again for sticking around till the end and for supporting my family on this journey. I can’t tell you how much the emails, DM’s and comments mean to us and I sincerely hope your 2019 is off to a great start!