To be honest, I’m a little thrown off that I am even sitting down to write this post. I think somewhere in my psyche I still think of myself as 27 and freshly married. This New Year’s Eve will mark 9 years of marriage for us (wedding post here) and it feels great. We’re in a really wonderful space and I’m so thankful for that.
I will say time has seemed to fly by. We spent time traveling and seeing the world after getting married and I can’t believe that was all 9 years ago. Now we have two kids and are in the thick of toddler and newborn life.
I don’t exaggerate when I say Trevor truly is my best friend and I think we were meant for each other. However, marriage is work and anyone who says differently isn’t being honest. It doesn’t feel like work because you love the person but it does take effort to grow, communicate and evolve together.
I can’t say that we have ever gone through any truly disastrous patches but our period of infertility really tested us. We were dealing with so much as a couple and I think I was personally holding in a lot. We had to learn how to communicate better and remember that we were on the same team and not working against each other.
I thought it would be fun to share a few things I have learned along the way and see what marriage and/or relationship advice you have taken the most from!
You are on the same team
This was probably some of the best advice I ever received. Sometimes it can seem like it’s you vs. your partner and trying to prove how your point is right. Don’t get me wrong there are always those discussions and feelings but it’s so important to remember that you are both on the same team. You want to succeed together and I think that makes our approach to disagreements or bumps in the road a little different.
Don’t put your marriage on hold for your kids
This is so important for us to remember during this time in our life! We are personally in the throws of parenting with a toddler and new baby and we decided to make a much more committed effort this time around to prioritizing us and our relationship. I think it can get easy to get lost in your kids but setting aside nights where we dress up, have date nights in at our fancy dining table and even do little things like play board games together are so important.
Remember strength comes in waves
This is something I remind myself of often, especially during this past year. It’s uncommon for both partners to be at a high at the same time. More than ever we have tried to step up when we sense the other is struggling. Whether that’s parenting, motivation to move or encouragement with work I think it’s been amazing for us to both be more aware of when the other may need some help or a boost and provide that.
I am so thankful to celebrate another anniversary with Trevor this year and hope you all have a safe and wonderful New Year’s Eve! I will see you all in 2021!