This coming weekend will mark Trevor and I’s 5 year anniversary. I can’t even believe I’m typing that. As much as it has flown by, I also feel like I’ve been with him my whole life. Marriage is filled with up’s and down’s and anyone that tells you it doesn’t take work, is not telling you the whole truth. 

Over the past 5 years I think we have both changed a lot from the people we were when we said “I do” Not in a bad or exaggerated way, but we have become better at being with each other and learned how to make our marriage a success.

I thought I would share a few marriage lessons I have personally learned over the past 5 years and see what advice or wisdom you guys have found along the way! 

Communication is Key: I know everyone says this, but it is so true. I think the amount of communication is different for every couple and the balance is what’s really important. While I’m someone who loves to over communicate (he loves that!) Trevor is someone who loathes communicating. It doesn’t come easy for him, but it’s important in a healthy relationship. Over time, we have found our groove and learned from experience that holding things in never ends well. The earlier you figure that out, the better. 

Admit when you’re wrong: Whew, this is a hard one. I am somewhat of a stubborn person (that’s an understatement) and so is my husband. We both like to believe we are always right, so admitting when you’re wrong used to be difficult for me. Over time,  you realize it’s not about ‘winning’ an argument but more about what’s going to make your relationship better. I now fully admit when I’ve overreacted or am in the wrong, apologize and try to do better – it makes life much easier! 

Do what they want, not what you do: When we first got married we read the book ‘The 5 Love Languages‘ like so many couples do. I knew we had very different needs, so that was no surprise but I really had to learn to adjust my thought process surrounding them. Just like when you give a gift, sometimes your first inclination is to get the person something you love. But is that really what they love? I had to start thinking of Trevor’s wants and trying to fulfill those instead of my own. Hopefully, your partner does the same!  

Be Kind: Sometimes difficult to remember when you’ve had a long day at work and your spouse knows how to get under your skin like no one else, haha. In general, life is happier when you’re kind and why not fill your house with that kind of love. I enjoy making my husband happy and I hope he feels the same way. 

Enjoy every stage: A lot of times in life we are always eager to get to that next stage in the game. Marriage goes through lots of up’s and down’s and it was important to enjoy the good and bad parts. They make your relationship what it is and isn’t it nice to look back on the tough times and feel stronger for overcoming them? 

What lessons have you guys learned from your marriage or relationship? I always love to hear from you!